My top metal albums of all time

I wanted to compile a list of my favorite heavy metal albums to share with you well because I'm fucked up and need to seek your approval for everything and also I need your reassurance that I am at least one of the very coolest people you know on the net. Either that or I'm just really fucking bored at work and really have nothing better to do...besides I'm the boss so it's not like I'm going to fire myself for fucking off at work. So here goes:

#10

Scum relased in 1987. While not technically heavy metal the god's of grindcore set the fucking bar extremely high with their 1st offering. If you never checked out grindcore this is the best starting place I can think of.

#9

Rust in Peace released in 1990. Without a doubt Dave's finest production ever! This album kicked so much ass when it came out I saw Megadeth 3 separate times when they toured through Denver. The addition of Marty Friedman and Nick Menza added a new gear to this speed machine and it definitely hit top speed with this effort. Despite the fucking critical acclaim and the grammy this album received it never felt like an attempt to commercialize Megadeth, the same can not be said about the albums that Megadeth would follow this one up with.

#8

Speak English or Die released in 1985. If you have never heard of S.O.D. you probably shouldn't read any further. Speak English or Die was recorded with one purpose in mind, to piss people the fuck off. A rather nice side effect of that callous approach was a well regarded album with some very heavy and fast music. Give it a listen if you don't like it turn it off and and lay your head down and right before you go to sleep just know that you suck.

#7

RATM released in 1992. RATM is not heavy metal but this album kicked so much furious ass that it simply has got to be included. Disturbing visual images, blistering guitar riffs and the most ardent militant poetry combine in to a delightful sauce that is both earthy and heady with a mild pecan after taste. One word to best describe this effort : Angry.

#6

Wisconsin Death Trip released 1999. Sure it's industrial metal (whatever the fuck that is) and the lyrics are somewhat incomprehensible at times but this album smacks you across your fat ass with a bass kick and makes you want to do bumps of meth til your heart explodes. If you don't own it (loser) steal it from whatever file sharing client you use and listen to it, it will be worth your time.

#5

Master of Puppets released 1985. Why only #5 for the album that many consider to be Metallica's finest? Simply because every album to follow this effort was nothing short of a complete and total sell out by Selloutica and I hold fucking grudges. If you don't know about or have never heard this album please do me a favor and leave my little corner of the interweb immediately.

#4

La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Vol. 1 released in 1992. Before Thunderkiss and Black Sunshine got mega airplay this album was a most refreshing breather from the hair bands and 3 chord grunge that seemed to have a stranglehold on our collective psyche. Unlike anything that ever came before it and unlike anything since, Rob's seminal work launched many a noob in to the pits only to come back bloodied and battered but happier.

#3

Vulgar Display of Power released in 1992. Coincidentally released around the same time as album #4 on my list Pantera's defining album was a fucking right hook to the face of angry youth everywhere. Fucking brutal, fucking bare and fucking hostile this album rescued heavy metal from the brink and made it stronger and heavier. If it weren't for 2 more seminal works by earlier pioneers of metal this album would be everyone's pick for the #1 slot.

#2

Black Sabbath released 1970. #2, number two are you fucking crazy? Nope the one that started it all is only #2 on my list. Why not Paraniod you ask? Because it wasn't the beginning of it all. Sabbath is not just a classic it is the Adam and Eve of heavy metal and in many rights should be #1 but I reserve that slot for a modern masterpiece that while beholden to it roots in Sabbath is the single greatest album of all time.

#1

Reign in Blood released in 1986. Bringing Satan to the masses, what can you say about this masterwork that hasn't already been said. It's sadistic, brutal, as fast as it gets....the adjectives could go on. 1 part Dungeons and Dragons, 1 part gothic horror and all fucking double bass pumping speed. There isn't a single thing I don't like about this album, I wouldn't change a thing. Not a note, lyric or riff. Simply the most ass kicking, adrenaline pumping in your face album ever created. I listened to my tape (yes I typed tape) so much that I wore the fucking label off and when the tape died I bought a cd which now has no label as well. This album will never get old and I will never tire of hearing it from start to finish.



So there it is, my list. Got that? My list! I don't give a shit if I didn't include your favorite, save that for your own fucking blog which I will some day read and probably agree with. Till then toodles.